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If Long Copy Stinks, Think Soap

Posted on August 12, 2008 | Filed Under Copywriting 

By Michel Fortin

Just two days ago, my friend and copywriter John Riskowitz published one of my articles on long copy to his list, to which one of his subscribers protested.

Coincidentally, his protest points out the fact that commodity products, like soap, do not require long copy. The coincidence is that I agreed with what this person is saying, and in fact I actually posted another article just last week on the very topic of product categories, and the different approaches, including copy length, required for each one.

Academia labels them as convenience products, shopping products, specialty products and unsought products. (Soap, among others, falls into the convenience category.)

However, John’s reponse to his subscriber not only made sense but also offered a powerful lesson I wanted to share with you today. In fact, to add more chutzpah to his reply he used an example originally created by another top copywriter, Drew Eric Whitman, on — of all things — soap!

First, here’s what this person said in response to my article:

Wrong.

The copy must be long ENOUGH to work. Long copy does not help the sale of chewing gum. Long copy does not help the sale of Copy paper. Long copy was not used to sell Generic products in stores.

Chevy doesn’t use long copy. Ford. Toyota. GM. Honda. General Mills. John Deer. All use short copy.

Here was John’s brilliant response to this gentleman, reprinted here with his kind permission:

I agree. The copy only needs to be as long as it takes to do the job. For more complex products and services, longer copy is needed. But even for chewing gum, long versus short is relative.

For example, let’s take a simple product like soap. Not the Ivory or Zest garden variety. Let’s say you sell scented soap in the shape and colors of fruit. In your copy, you could just say, “orange-scented bar soap” or “smells like coconut.”

Instead, why not compare the soaps to the freshest, juiciest slices of Mandarin or Florida oranges?

Or for the coconut-scented soap, why not compare it to the freshly cut coconuts in the sun-soaked western Caribbean… reminiscent of the white meaty centers and the sweet, luscious, milky juice?

If that seems a little over the top, consider that you’re selling more expensive specialized soap. You’re not selling Irish Spring.

Your soap has 2 things going for it:

1) It’s visually beautiful, and…
2) It smells delicious.

To NOT play up the 2 things that make your soap so appealing is missing the boat.

THAT’S what I got out of Michel Fortin’s article on the subject. He’s not saying do long copy just for the sake of being long. And he’s not saying use long and BORING copy either. He’s saying your copy needs to be long enough and persuasive enough to get the job done. And, you’re right: for commodity-type products, you don’t need longer copy. If your USP is price, sometimes stating that fact alone is enough.

For example:

Paper clips - $1.99/box of 500
Paper clips - $3.99/box of 500

Which one would you buy? All things being equal, you’ll probably go for the $1.99/box one, right?

But what is there was a good reason why the $3.99/box one was higher priced? What if they were more heavy-duty, or they have little ridges on them that let them grip the pages better? If that was the case, and YOU sold those higher-priced paper clips, wouldn’t you want to let your market know about it? Or would you keep the same shorter copy as your cheaper competition.

So long versus short copy is a relative thing. You obviously don’t need a 24-page magalog to sell chewing gum…unless your gum cured cancer. Or had a special vitamin and mineral supplement that reduced the risk of heart attack and stroke. Then you might need testimonials from doctors, pharmacists, and other experts. Testimonials from existing customers who swear by your gum. You need an avalanche of proof.

And as far as car companies not using long copy, some of them do. If you’re on their mailing list you might get some. Some of them don’t, because of the way their advertising agencies work. (Remember those Superbowl ads? Do you remember any of the products in those ads? I’m guessing very few.) But they all should use targeted direct mail with long copy to supplement their existing advertising.

The fact of the matter is, most car commercials suck, in my opinion. You see the same ad all the time: a car driving out in the country or some other place. Do you really remember which car goes with which ad?

Did you ever see David Olgivy’s ad for Rolls-Royce? The one with the headline, “At 60 miles an hour the loudest noise in this new Rolls-Royce comes from the electric clock.” He used longer copy in that ad than most other car companies did. Not a 12 page sales letter, because it was a space ad. But longer than the other car companies’ shorter copy.

And that ad was responsible for breaking sales records for Rolls-Royce.

I hope I didn’t go a little overboard here. I just wanted to say that in principle I agree with you. But I also agree with Michel.

What do you think? I always welcome healthy discussion on subjects such as these. I always invariably end up learning a thing or two.

Best Regards,
John

— About the Author —
Michel Fortin is a direct response copywriter, marketing strategy consultant, and instrumental in some of the most lucrative online businesses and wildly successful marketing campaigns to ever hit the web. For more articles like this one, please visit his blog at http://www.michelfortin.com/ and subscribe to his RSS feed.

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